Dear Mr. Grocery Store Manager
Jah, algus on natuke kohmakas. Aga üldiselt olen ma sellega rahul. Pole olnud tuju siin mingeid suuremaid korrektsioone teha. Loodan, te teile ka meeldib.
Dear Mr. Grocery Store Manager,
I am a humble citizen of this town who likes nothing better than to go to the local grocery store and spend the afternoon shopping for things to cook and eat in the evening. Food is essential for the survival of our noble species (okay, maybe not all that noble, but a species nonetheless). What I like, is to step inside the store, take a nice look around and pick up the things I like and/or need, pay for them and head home with a bag full of nice tasty food I can eat. That’s what I like.
But grocery shopping has recently become a rather unpleasant chore for me. Worse than that – it has become a nightmare. And a really horrible one, at that. Have you ever had nightmares, mr. Grocery Store Manager?
The problem is the music you play there nowadays. It is too loud. I can’t think properly in your store anymore, mr. Grocery Store Manager, because the music you play is too loud. I can’t hear my own thoughts in the middle of all that noise. And the style of music you have chosen is pretty awful too, I must say. What in the world has made you think people want to listen to hippyhop and that arenbe ruckus while shopping for groceries? Mr. Grocery Store Manager, grocery shopping is a time for deep contemplation and meditation, it is the prelude of the most important part of the day – a meal, whether it be lunch or dinner or breakfast the next day, or all three. Food is a very essential part of a human being’s life, mr. Grocery Store Manager, and thus is grocery shopping a very important and thoughtful activity which should not be intruded with rude noise. What if, disturbed by the too disordered and loud music you play in your store, someone happens to pick up the wrong can of beans or a wrong taste of yoghurt or something worse (This has not yet happened to me, luckily, for I have very good concentration ability, but for how long am I going to be able to maintain that with your choice of song and volume, mr. Grocery Store Manager, for how long?)?We are what we eat, after all.
And the employees. What is going on with your employees? Why are there so many young people? Why have you fired all the old reasonable ones? Is it to make the store more appealing to younger people and – God forbid – teenagers? If this is so than I advise you against it with all my might. You think really carefully about who you employ in your store, mr. Grocery Store Manager. Those old employees, they were reliable. They did their job, and they did it well. If you even think about disagreeing with me, sir, you are just plain stupid, because now you’ve got your store full of young people who are inexperienced in life, which means they make more mistakes in any department of general knowledge and skill, and what is more – they will have babies. And when they have babies they want maternity leave, with pay. You think of that before you hire any new young people in your store, mr. Grocery Store Manager. And don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, when your store is running low on staff because all your employees are home with their newborns.
And one more thing, mr Grocery Store Manager. The carpets are too soft.
Yours faithfully,
Jebediah Gandersen
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